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Story Submission by Tequila, Age 23

I have been suffering from abuse since childhood. Abuse both physical and emotional for as long as I can remember. I always thought panic attacks, sleeping and eating either too much or too little were normal. I always just floated through life not trying to achieve anything but just living. I have had many downs and some ups as well but I never really had a proper purpose. I stopped going to school and would sleep all day, feed the pets and then repeat.

I was then home-schooled and finished Year 12 at a private school. There I found a great group of friends and managed to get enough credits to graduate. I somehow floated to university and started studying criminology and counseling. I then realised my behaviour was not normal and I was probably suffering from anxiety and depression.

As the years went on I realised how toxic my home life was. I then started seeking comfort from strangers. Male strangers. This put me in vulnerable situations which led me to be sexually assaulted.

I then went on a downward spiral and finally a few days before Christmas I decided to be selfish and buy myself a car. This car represented a lot for me. My love of Subarus, a fresh start and also pure selfishness in my eyes.

I unloaded my whole bank account on my car but with no money and a nice car I was finally happy. I finally had something to look forward too, something I loved. I then surrounded myself with like minded people and finally knew I had found who I really was.

If you or someone you know is struggling with depression, anxiety, self-harm or addiction, please reach out. Call 13 11 14 for Lifeline’s 24hr Telephone Crisis Support or contact a mental health professional. If you are looking for other mental health resources, browse our Find Help page.

If a life is in danger call 000 immediately.

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