The following content may contain information about mental health and/or other related material which may be triggering. Reader discretion is advised.
Story Submission by Victor, Age 31
Well I’ve been fighting depression since I was 14, probably this was triggered by moving to a different town with my family. I never felt like my place was there, always happy on the outside but f**ked up inside.
After I moved to another town for faculty studies, I got my first car and the first taste of freedom and peace, but still empty and sad. When I started working on my cars and started racing I found that it was the only true therapy, those few minutes that I’m with myself during a hill climb race is the only are priceless.
After a 2-year-long toxic relationship I found a girl that I really like and I had the feeling that nothing else matters, the days felt like seconds and all my negative feeling couldn’t reach me, she had this positive vibe that helped me focus on being positive too. It was like she was the only person that could balance me, even though she had a rough life the smile was always there. All this came to an abrupt end because of my stupid insecurities and now since I lost her I feel the lowest I ever been.
I still want to fight, I still want to carry on bur it feels like I lost interest in everything, the only thing that I am looking forward to is my next race because I need my therapy. Those minutes of peace of mind when I can forget all my negative thoughts and urges. I always felt alone because I don’t really have more then 2 true friends so loosing that girl was really hard for me even though we didn’t date for that much time. I hope someday I can look back at this part of my life and feel like this made me stronger and better.
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