The following content may contain information about mental health and/or other related material which may be triggering. Reader discretion is advised.
Story Submission by Anonymous, Age 17
A 1996 180SX was my first car, a “drift pig” as many called it. It had so much character and was my go-to when I was feeling down. I would aimlessly drive around for hours, every single day, or pull things apart and put them back together for no reason. It allowed me to clear my mind. It gave me an escape from my problems.
But in 2016, I was involved in a car accident which saw my pride and joy destroyed within the blink of an eye. The bond I had created with the car, and my deep emotion and relationship with it was gone.
Even after significant physical damage, the comments and hurtful words I saw online and received in person did the most damage. Cars are my passion, but even then, a lot of people (including fellow enthusiasts) made me reconsider staying in the car scene.
This is something I would never usually think of. The trauma triggered the start of my depression and for months, I didn’t know why I was feeling the way I did. I didn’t know that it was depression so I didn’t tell anyone about it.
I felt numb, tired all the time, and withdrawn from my family, friends and society. I was severely depressed for months and it only got worse as many other issues in my life arose.
After my car accident, I had lost a lot of money and friends. The feeling never really went away as I was stuck in the past, thinking about what people said about me, what people now thought about me, and how I was going to deal with my other issues.
Depression to me is a numbing sadness, of which is always behind a very blank state of mind. Depression is a lingering darkness and emptiness within the mind. Overtime it will consume any sense of ambition and happiness.
To me, depression was the constant feeling of being alone, feeling like nobody understood the pain, feeling like nobody could help you.
But the most important thing to know is that there are people out there who care, there are people who can help you emerge from the darkness we know as depression.
Asking for help is okay. Whether you’re asking a friend or a loved one, someone can help and with that help each day becomes brighter.
Recently I have asked many people close to me for assistance, which is the best thing I could’ve done. The past was something that affected me greatly but now, I think of the past like how I use a rear-view mirror. It’s good to glance back every now and then to see how far you’ve come, but if you look too long, you’ll miss what’s ahead of you. Take one step at a time and it all becomes easier.
Depression is still very real to me and I still have many issues that exist, however one of the things that gets me through each day is my car: a bone stock Phoenix Yellow DC2R. The yellow is so vibrant and exciting; that’s the feeling I get when I drive it. For me, driving makes the pain go away. It is my therapy; my escape. Everyone should have something they can turn to when they’re feeling down, something they can enjoy at any time.
My car is mine and it is worth so much more to me than its dollar value. It has given me what no one else can during the darkest moments in my life.
I believe that your car is a extension of yourself. It represents you and it has the ability to take you to a better place, physically and mentally. This is what non-enthusiasts will never understand: they’re more than just objects; more than just a means of transportation – they are a remedy for this disease.
If you or someone you know is struggling with depression, anxiety, self-harm or addiction, please reach out. Call 13 11 14 for Lifeline’s 24hr Telephone Crisis Support or contact a mental health professional. If you are looking for other mental health resources, browse our Find Help page.
If a life is in danger call 000 immediately.