Story Submission by Anonymous, Age 15
I’ve been sitting here for a while now, trying to figure out how to put my story and my past into words. It troubles me that the English language, with all the words in the dictionary, there isn’t even one that can describe how I feel, how I felt, and how much I wish everything would go away.
It’s been like this for a while now. Not just a couple of days, not weeks, not even months, but years. I constantly feel sad, I feel alone! I feel as though I’m stuck, I can’t move forward, and I can’t move back. I can’t climb; rather, I always seem to be falling, crumbling. This feeling of hopelessness isn’t changing. I thought after a while it would go away, everything would be good again. I kept wishing that I would look forward to waking up every morning or that something or someone would help me see the brighter side, and that one day I would feel truly happy again. But instead, I still feel hopeless every day.
It feels like there’s something on my shoulders, weighing me down. I feel crushed. I feel sad. And with every person that has tried to help, or make me feel happy again, I still constantly feel alone. I feel like my emotions have been ripped out of my soul. And once again, I find myself struggling to find the words to describe everything that’s going on, everything I no longer feel.
My friends don’t understand. They can’t comprehend how I just can’t be happy. How I just can’t enjoy myself, and because of this, I feel even more alone. I have nobody. And in some way, it’s easier like that. I don’t have to explain my problems to people who don’t care.