Story Submission by Alex, Age 16
From when I was 12 through to about 15, I was regularly bullied in school (Both being physically beaten and teased/insulted) from year 7 through to year 10. At several points in those years I hit rock bottom with severe depression, and being suicidal to the point where I tried to commit (Unsuccessfully of course). Every day I felt more and more alone as I had almost completely stopped communication with my family.
I lived with my sister and mum, as my parents divorced when I was about 7 so dad wasn’t around much. We constantly fought up until the point where we stopped talking to each other. I started to lock myself away every day, skip school and almost devote my life to the online world because it was a place where I could throw my current self away and be someone different.
Since my parents had split, my mum had found someone new. But unfortunately we didn’t get along, as I was soon assaulted by him several times until I ran away to live with my dad.
About halfway through year 10, I took a stand in my life, left high school and attended TAFE. I made an effort to stay happy, and it worked. I finished my TAFE course, and went to work as a waiter for a few months. Then in late 2011, I decided I should return to high school. So after meetings and such, I was put in to year 11.
I was there until about July, but I left as I couldn’t enjoy my classes, and started skipping. I decided in mid-July that school just isn’t for me, and left again and began an apprenticeship as a Panel Beater, but then moved to spray-painting. I have been an apprentice for 5 months so far, and I’ve changed yet again. I recently signed my resign papers. My work in the last month and a half has basically halted and gone backwards.
I am slowly slipping back in to depression. I am stressing out 24/7 and unable to make up my mind about my life (I change my mind about things several times an hour, every hour), I struggle to remain happy through my days and I have unnecessary amounts of regrets. I am currently living with my father and we are always arguing. I am struggling to find who I am. I’m nearly 17 and I don’t really have a direction. But I’m getting through it.
Sorry that my story was long, although it is still brief. Hopefully you actually got through it.
Thanks for reading.
Alex-
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Hey Alex,
While my schooling wasn’t so hectic compared to yours, my family life and work/study decisions (albeit after school) definitely were.
Family life is unfortunately a lot more difficult to deal with because it’s only after a certain time that you’re able to get away from the situations. When you’re younger, you’re kind of stuck. I’m STILL stuck at home and while it’s not difficult, I keep to myself as much as possible in order to prevent clashes with my mother. One of my main goals right now is to complete my university study and get the heck out. All I can recommend to you is to try to stay focused. Depression and anxiety are unfortunately not going to help a lot (I would know as I too suffer from them) but it’s a matter of doing your best. Hiding in the internet is not a bad thing when you have no where else to turn. Just don’t let it impede on your own progress in life.
As to finding what you want to do, it’s always difficult to chose. I’m in the dilemma of knowing exactly what I want to do but right now, I’m focusing on what I like. (That being games) I decided to study how to get into the games industry through business and creative design. My advice to you is find what you love to do. You will not be happier if you get stuck in a job which you learn to despise. Life only happens once and you may as well enjoy it with something that makes you happy =)
I wish you the best and try not to sink too low. You have so much support you can turn to.
Much love, Zoe